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Crying In The Silence
Dedicated to the victims of abuse


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The notes on this page are condensed from information distributed to a very small group of friends during the period that started with the creation of the song on the 2nd January, 2009. They give an insight into the purpose of this help project and the culmination of a desire of many long years to offer encouragement and support to the victims of abuse.

8th January, 2009

The six days from 2nd January, 2009 were rather an exciting ones for me as I returned to my serious music again after a 2 year break and having written almost nothing.

Before I go too far, some of you (a very small number) have been in on this project since it began, so the next part of this will be old news to you, please bear with me.

Last Friday as I was preparing to have lunch, a song title thought came into my head - Crying In The Silence - and 30 minutes later the complete words had been written and a melody also written. The song just flowed out of me.

In one sense it is not surprising, as it deals with a subject I have been passionate about for at least 30 years (that I can remember) and have had much training in the area as I have proceeded. The subject, of course, being abuse, especially of children, and the need for more people to be aware of its reality in our society and the long term damage it always does to the victims.

Friday afternoon, evening and some of Saturday was spent programming the keyboard music for the song. By Saturday evening  I was way ahead of my planned schedule for this song. This was by no means the final keyboard mix (it was changed extensively later on). This was just the first draft which I would be using to practice the song with and I shared this with some close friends.

The work on the music, which was mostly editing and mixing took about 12 hours of work, which is a lot faster than normal so you can see that the huge flow I had (30 minutes from first thought to completed words and melody) had continued with this second stage which, normally would have probably involved 30-40 hours of work at least.

Due to other commitments, things were put on hold until Thursday 8th January, 2009 when I was able to get in and download the final keyboard  mix into my recording desk, add the vocals and some extra guitars. The vocals have included a three part harmony in the chorus which has been used to highlight the final line of the song.

(For those of you who may think that I touch on something else in the song - you are right. I am a survivor of a suicide attempt (many long years ago) and I also know that the pain felt by abuse victims can (and sadly does) drive people to suicide. That was the culmination of my own personal abuse experience (physical and verbal) which had dominated my high school years while attending a boarding school.)

The flow that I had experienced last Friday and Saturday continued on the Thursday, which is really exciting for me. All in all, it has taken around 20 hours of work (as opposed to normally 60-80 hours) to reach the stage you will hear in the song. That, in itself, is an amazing thing (those of you who are musicians will understand what I mean there).

The song is 4:34 in length and I do not apologise for that in any way. It needs to be that long.

Bob Burling 

10th January, 2009

I know God has touched me with this song but, as I look at the responses so far, I realise that he has touched many others. In part, that is what I wanted this song to do (and that is why the Lord has given it to me, and done so in the way He did) but, I was not prepared for the response rate that has come back. Out of the 24 copies that were originally sent out on the 8th January, I have had 8 replies so far and from those 8 have come 6 victims of this horror. Admittedly, 2 of those I knew about before the song was even written. However, that percentage is way higher than I thought possible. It alarms me that there are so many and that the problem is so big, way bigger than we have been led to believe in the past.

Now, I am aware that the sample, so far, is very, very small but, even taking that into account, it is too high a percentage. No wonder God wants to deal with the problem.

I made the statement yesterday to you all that I wanted to get a team of supporters (preferably victims themselves, but not necessarily - victims have a better understanding of the real issues, that's all) behind me to be able to help once the song goes public, especially once the video done and it goes on YouTube. It is also on this site.

I no longer want to do that: the reality is I need and have to get a team together because this is going to be way bigger than I certainly imagined and I would be interested at what others may think. These people can either help in the frontline or, can support the frontline if they don't feel confident about being in the frontline. Careful scrutiny will have to be carried out on all those seeking to join the project so do not think it is something anybody can be a part of. Team members, other than those strictly screened for security reasons, will not have any direct contact with people who make enquiries so as to prevent any undesirable interaction between team members and the victims. This is a very high security and privacy project and those who disclose MUST be protected.

A new development today was the desire and commencement of the web site for this project. This was laid on my heart very early today and most of the day has been spent creating the basics for the site and getting a preliminary version of this site online with the words of the song and a contact form.

All in all, things have moved at a break neck speed and, yet, everything has come together in a remarkable way.

Bob Burling

1st February, 2009

Almost one month on and so much has happened. Back on the last note we had actually expanded the website to being 6 pages. Now we have grown to 16 pages as various suggestions and ideas have come in from so many people.

Currently we are looking for people who will be able to submit original poetry that is relevant to aspects of abuse. We, of course, will review all poems before they are placed on the site as, while a poem might be very good, we need to keep in mind that children are encouraged to use this site as they, probably more than adults, need to have access to encouragement, advice and guidance. Children are the forgotten victims of abuse because they are often forced, by the fear instilled by the perpetrator, to suffer their abuse in silence for fear that they will be in trouble if they say anything.  

To this end, we have recently added a Kids Page to the site which, among other things, contains a replay option on the page, of the song Dear Mr. Jesus, a song sung by a child for children and from a child's perspective. Yes, we are aware that some of the graphics in this video clip are very strong, but so are the consequences of abuse. We have added some preliminary advice for children and this will be expanded as time goes on. What we are currently looking for is a "comic strip artist" who can portray these pieces of advice into a comic strip that maybe even really young children can understand. If that is your gift and you believe in what this site is doing, then we would love to hear from you. Once we have made contact then we can discuss guidelines and allow submissions. We will review each strip (and it has been suggested that each piece of advice could be a 3-5 pane strip) and from those submitted we will upload suitable material. Remember that the key word for these is that young children can get the message from the pictures.

At the suggestion of a site viewer, we are in the process of adding a blog page to the site so that people can, anonymously, tell of their own experiences to encourage and help others to cope with their victimisation. This has to be done carefully as the site will be read by children so we need total control over these blogs so that they can be reviewed before they are publicly seen, if it is at all possible. We are not sure whether what is available to us will allow that or not but it would be the best, for the sake of the children.

A music only player is soon to be added to the site and we are certainly asking people to submit songs that are about the issue of abuse to be considered. When you submit a song, we need to know the URL of that song so that the link can be made available to the player. We will also consider unreleased material that are from original artists. These songs would be actually located on our site and the player would access them in much the same way as any other song. When submitting such material you will need to be able to show that you are the rightful owner(s) of the song, submit an MP3 version to us (contact us using the form and we will tell you how to send the song to us) and then we will send you a statutory declaration for you to sign to show that you are the authorised person(s) to allow the song to be used.

We are also really looking for resources that can be linked, news stories relevant to your country and anything else that you feel may be of help to allow this site to provide really top facilities for victims of abuse.

Publicity has also started to happen in the last couple of weeks with several interviews taking place (including one from Vision FM, Australia's national Christian broadcast network with almost 350 stations). This publicity is all adding to make the site known to people, especially victims. There is a tri-fold brochure now available and this can be printed from the site (it is in PDF format and in colour) so that organisations (such as churches) and individuals can print copies of the brochure for distribution. We do ask that you print these in colour, if you possibly can, as this will add to the impact of the brochure. Churches may choose to have these brochures available to their members and visitors.

Also with publicity, radio stations may contact us for a Royalty Free CD version of Crying In The Silence to use in their stations play list. A number of these have already been distributed.

Finally, we ask you to talk about this site and let people know that it is there. You never know who is a victim of abuse, and by telling people, you may have helped them to change from being a victim to being a survivor.

Bob Burling

Saturday 2nd January, 2010.

Today is exactly one year since Crying In The Silence was born, for it was on this date last year that I wrote the song, Crying In The Silence, which launched this whole new venture.

And what a year it has been.

From that small song, which I might add is still touching hearts and lives, has come a massive International organisation that is continuing to grow as it provides Christian based guidance, encouragement and hope for the victims of abuse. Contributors continue to write material for us from their personal experiences of abuse and we continue to guide people to established organisations and agencies that are available world wide for specific areas of abuse.

As is hardly surprising, child abuse (especially sexual) has become a very large feature in our links and references and this is a sad reflection on our society where so many people seem to think that children are there just for their sexual pleasure, without thought to the price that each child must pay fir the rest of their lives.

Interestingly, though, we have come to acknowledge a whole range of different abuse types that are found right across the world. Our total list now numbers 42 but I get a feeling that our list is not yet complete, another sad reflection on the human race.

We now have active members in the following countries: Australia, USA, United Kingdom, Holland, Germany, Philippines, The Caribbean, India and Pakistan. In addition we have supporters in many other countries. This is encouraging.

As for the website, from what was just a few pages when we started, we now have a total of 30 main sections in the site (many of these main pages have a number of sub-pages), certainly something that was not envisaged when we started things.

While our visible traffic counter is no longer functioning (we are searching for a suitable one to use, as the company that was doing that seems to have disappeared without notice), the logs show over 25,000 visitors for the 12 months and that is really encouraging. We are still not to be considered a major league player, by any means, but people are coming to the site and that means people will be finding help and encouragement. We have obviously filled a gap that was existing.

As I look to the future, I see the site continuing to grow as more and more people become involved through contributions or in other ways. The more involvement we have, the better we can provide for encouragement.

Our areas of need are the expansion of linked services (especially into new countries) and further writings and other contributions from people who have moved from being victims to being survivors of abuse.

We will continue to use our sub-site on Shoutlife and to add our newsletters to the Tagged site (we would encourage all people to share the newsletter on to their social network sites as well).