| MY LIFE My life as a child was very sad, I felt unloved and really bad; Rejection was a big issue with me I was told you had to earn love, It was not for free Growing up I felt I was dumb; I couldn’t catch on even with sums Affection was something not given to me; Accept if I did something to earn it, then I would see My abuse was a burden I could hardly bare, All I could do was hurt others and swear Love to me seems so far away; No matter how hard I tried, come what may My heart grew bitter as I continued this path; My eyes were blinded by this wrath Relationships suffered one by one, I lost all my friends and ended with none The life I led and continued to toil, What I felt was dirt from the soil I could never see my own worth; Many times I wanted to leave this dark old earth Mistakes I’ve made seem so very bad; Forgiveness was so far from the heart My pain was deep within myself; I felt there was no chance from the start I would never have believed That love could be received; Without anything in return except me Years went by; I would cry, I felt so alone and sad It was all I could do and all I could bare; Was to feel my life was in deep despair My heart cried out to my Father in Heaven; He planted a seed instead of a weed And blessed my life with His love from above; He gave me faith and something to hope for My life seem such a mess and in shatters; I never believed that it mattered He gave me my Lord as an offering; Took my sin the strife and suffering I’ve now been redeemed by the blood of the lamb, Safe in His hands upon this land The price was paid upon the cross; He took my suffering with my pain, He gave me hope as He was slain Now I’m saved instead of lost; He took my sin; He was nailed on the cross The heart I have now is overflowing with love; A gift so special given from above I cried to the Lord for someone to love; His arms opened wide, like wings of a dove I now have my Jesus, Whose heart has mine in perfect love. © Natalie Price Dec 2006 |
MY PRAYER FOR HELP My life seems to have no meaning No matter how hard I try, I feel like screaming Family and friends hurt you so deep I find it so hard to even sleep I pour my heart out to my Lord day and night I pray for answers, to make things right My commitment, loyalty and love Gets thrown back with a shove When I’m ignored, I come back for more In desperation and frustration, all I do is crawl My battle within, has been caused through sin Please help me my Lord, where do I begin Frightened and scared, I come to You in prayer My hope is gone, and no one cares The only friend I have is You You always listen and help me through Shine your light down on me Break the curse and set me free. © Natalie Price May 2007
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| MY WORLD My reason to live, has now all gone No purpose in life, no goal to be won In my own little world, I am lost and scared Sometimes I wonder why I was reared Born to be put through, so much despair In a world so cold, who really cares? All my dreams have come to a halt Lost and alone in a world of revolt Where is my God, whom I put my trust I need Him now, for my life is dust How do I know, if I have my Lord’s love As I reach out, it fly’s away like a dove I pray my heart out and wait to hear The peace has gone, and I am left with fear Help me Lord, I really need you Please don’t leave me, like people do Give me strength to carry on Find me a place, where I belong Love is such a precious gift It heals the heart and gives you a lift Without love, there is nothing left No reason to live, take away my breath. © Natalie Price May 2007 |
HIS HEALING IS LOVE Hear my cry O Lord, to heaven I call I need You my Father, You are my all My heart is so heavy, my spirit is crushed No one to turn to, they’re all in a rush Emotional battering year after year Each day that passed, most days in tears Within myself I felt a mess I often wondered; if this was a test As strong as I was in body and soul My life in turmoil, my head just rolled The heaviness I felt, dragged me right on down Like the dark deep sea, swirling all around But You were my light shining high above The healing it came and it only took love I thank You my Lord, with all of my heart My praise is forever, my love will not part. © Natalie Price May 2007 |
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HOPE
IN HIS HANDS Look inside and you will see The kind of person I want to be A cry for help so many times No one cares, or sees the signs Very deep within my soul I long for a place, but nowhere to go Where I’ll be loved, a place to call home No longer frightened, of being alone Rejected abused; emotionally used I pray for the day That I am no longer accused My one hope is Jesus For He understands When your life seems so hopeless He holds out His hands. © Natalie Price May 2007 |
TEAR DROPS Don’t just pass by If you see teardrops in their eyes A heart full of pain As they try to hide their shame Open the way For them to have their say Listen to their words So they know they are heard Do not deny and tell them they lie Rejected and alone, all they do is cry Reach out and help in anyway you can Show them the way, just take their hand Give them a hug, tell them they’re loved We have a mighty Savior He comes from heaven above © Natalie Price Feb 2009 |
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| A CRY FROM A WEE SMALL VOICE Daddy, Daddy, please don’t make me cry It hurts so much I don’t understand why Why do we go into this room alone each day? Away from Mummy and it’s not ok You take my clothes off I feel so cold This is not nice, I don’t want to hold The way you look, I get so scared It hurts so much, you don’t seem to care Help me someone, please I pray This is so awful, I don’t want to stay I thought my Daddy really loved me All he does is kiss and smother me I feel so sick, I want to die Because it hurts and makes me cry I tried to tell Mummy, what my Daddy had done She called me a little liar and made me feel like scum My Mummy did not believe me, oh please God why? You are my only hope, hear my cry Nowhere to go, who do I tell? Nobody believes, it’s like living in hell Please listen to that wee little voice It gives us all hope, and then we can rejoice. © Natalie Price February 2009 |
HELP ME LORD Help me Lord I want to flee Swallow me up, so nobody will see This firth I have all over my body I want to scream, but there is nobody Please I begged, set me free Nobody listening to hear my plea It will not wash off, I feel so unclean Why do they do it? They are so mean I cringe each time when I am touched Squirming, stiffening, so I don’t feel much My stomach feels sick from the smell of the sweat I hate every moment, I feel so wet My worth is all gone Please help me Lord, where do I belong. © Natalie Price February 2009 |
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| IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT In the heat of the night, tossing and turning Cannot sleep, my heart is burning The images I have of that disgusting act Filling my mind of that repulsive attack My body aches from limb to limb The face I see looks so grim My eyes are filled with so many tears This pain I feel goes on for years Suffering deepens as the years go on With guilt and shame, my pain prolongs Love and trust has gone from within Replaced with hatred of this terrible sin My God I need you to take this shame I called on Jesus and He came Made me strong and gave me my peace In Him his love will never cease. © Natalie Price February 2009 |
SILENT TEARS Silent tears come streaming down my face I feel worthless; my life is an utter disgrace Genuine love, it seems so from my reach My lack of trust, when anyone preached Believing in God, was not easy to do Lost in my world, where no one got through The wall I built up, was made of steel That’s the only protection that I thought was real Life had no meaning or purpose for me The world was evil as far as I could see Emotional abuse it did not end Nobody cared, I had no true friends A glimmer of hope came from my prayer God is so merciful, He showed that He cared © Natalie Price February 2009 |
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| MY BATTLE WITHIN How do I win, when there is so much sin? People pass by, they don’t see me cry Alone and scared, why would anyone care Mentally exhausted in a life of despair Everyday when I go for my walk Living a fantasy, in my thoughts I dread to go home to this miserable scene Lost in my world, I feel so unclean Filthy words that come to my ears I shrink each time, when he comes near The smell of alcohol is so strong Oh Lord, where in my life did I go wrong? My kids are frightened; you see it in their eyes The look on their faces, as if they despise Threatened with death, and cursed to hell I felt like screaming and no one to tell This dreadful world that I was in Oh help me Lord, where do I begin? He gave His life because of our sin Victory in Jesus has been won Thank you God, for your wonderful Son. © Natalie Price February 2009 |
AFFLICTION Abused and battered for many years Confused in the midst of all my tears At night the dreadful thoughts kept on coming I hated myself and what I was becoming Laying awake for many hours Tossing and turning in Satan’s powers Waiting for the sun to rise Another day of the awful lies Thoughts of revenge entered my mind The devil’s demons had me in a bind Trapped in my evil thoughts Far away from what God had taught My life was hell here on earth Many times, I wished I had died at birth I raised my eyes and called on the Lord He broke the bind that kept me entwined And gave me the power of His sword. © Natalie Price February 2009 |
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| WE DON’T ALWAYS
SEE The bigger picture we don’t always see Trials and tribulations, we often ask why me? The burden we carry is hard to bare I know I’ve often thought, how unfair My children grew up in an abusive home No wonder they hated it and wanted to roam My sons were into drugs and stealing The trouble they were in, included dealing My head was in a spin, trying to find answers Nothing worked; it was like some bad cancers The harder I tried, the worst it became Most days I felt, I was becoming insane Abusive language, threatening behavior Oh help me Lord, I need my Savior There comes a time when we’ve had enough Stand up to them and show them you’re tough Never give up, on what you believe Hold onto Jesus and you will achieve © Natalie Price February 2009 |
MY MOTHER’S LOVE A mother’s love is full of beauty Sadly some look at it, as a duty As a child, I wasn’t loved Instead of a hug, I was shoved My mother looked on me as competition I questioned her love, with suspicion To the outside world she was a lady But to me she was, very shady When she looked at me at times I felt I was nothing, but a piece of slime Emotional blackmail she put me through Day in and day out, I nearly went blue I couldn’t stand it any longer In my weakness, she was growing stronger My health deteriorated, my nerves were a mess I knew she hated me, I was under stress I was diagnosed with Leukemia The way she smiled, as if I had anemia She didn’t care and I was scared All she gave me was her nasty glare My God looked on and made me strong Put hope in my heart, and a place to belong A new family who cared and shared No longer am I in utter despair © Natalie Price February 2009 |
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| CHOICES Choices we make can change our path We can be happy and choose to laugh Or be sad and have nothing but wrath If you have been hurt and you cannot forgive You’re destroying yourself, each day you live Negative thoughts, deep wounds will not heal The darkness surrounds you, because you conceal Do not hide the truth by a lie Share your grief, you will feel better inside Reach out to some one, who you can trust Pray to God, that is a must If you open the door for Jesus to come in His love is amazing, a new life will begin. © Natalie Price February 2009 |
THINK BEFORE YOU DO Seeking love and affection Can often drive you in the wrong direction There are people out there, who just play games You feel so used and so ashamed Upon yourself you take all blame I wish this sin would burn in flames The way you feel about yourself Makes you sick and wrecks your health Love is beautiful and meant to be pure Not sickening or filthy that’s makes you insecure Love comes from God, it’s not a myth Given freely, it’s a beautiful gift. © Natalie Price February 2009 |
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| SEX IS NOT LOVE Sex is not love, no matter what they say They will tell you anything to have their way Like they love you, so then it’s ok Their deceitful words are so untrue They really don’t care at all about you With their fancy words and pick up lines They try to lead us and think we’re blind Love is patient and is kind It fills your heart as you become entwined Love is not envious or arrogant with pride It’s a beautiful feeling that you have inside Love is never selfish, it loves to give To encourage you, wherever you live The love of your partner is very special you see God gives you His blessings with His guarantee © Natalie Price February 2009 |
USED AND ABUSED If you want me do as I say Or get lost and be on your way Expressed to me so many times You feel unloved; their words fill your mind Self esteem goes down the drain Just like the slush after the rain Their words are like a piercing knife With no intention of taking you as a wife Used and abused is how I feel My heavy heart is making me ill Lost in my thoughts, what is true love? No kind words, no warm hugs All I get is one big shove This is not right; I know it in my heart If I have any sense, I will depart Close the door, for once and for all You don’t have to take this any more Remember you are precious in God’s site He will saved you, with all of His might © Natalie Price February 2009 |